Sunday, January 22, 2017

Dream in the Secret

Dreams and Secrets.  Scary or brave, fear or excitement.  I'm not sure what I am feeling about either quite yet.  They are my words for 2017.  I don't think I have every had two words before, and I'm not quite sure how it happened.  But I can't unstick them, they are already deep in my heart. 

2016 ended pretty low, as I shared in the last post.  But as I began to pray about the word I would trust God to lead me through this year I kept feeling dream.  Would I dare to dream again?

I used to dream, but as reality, kids, daily meals, all the mundane swept in I have let the dreaming go. I have turned into not really being a dreamer, and any time I would normally hear the word or see it, skepticism would creep up in me, honestly.  I had to identify that feeling that would rise up inside right away as the word dream kept coming back to my mind.  I am very rational and logical.  A realist.  If there isn't enough money, it isn't possible.  If someone says no, I so ok.  I don't really push back.  I felt like if I claimed the word dream, that I could be made fun of and fail.  That it wouldn't really work out and that I shouldn't try anything crazy that I would dream for.  So many dreams have failed and I'm tired of failing.  But God hasn't let me let it go.

So as I have begun asking God to write His dreams on my heart, secret kept also coming to my mind.  For a couple of weeks I was wrestling, which word? Dream or secret? I've finally given up.  So this year, two words it is.  Dream and Secret. 

The feeling that I have looking into the unknown is that if I am in the secret, with my Father, He will make known to me the dreams that He has for me.  And just as in the past, He doesn't show me before hand.  He lets me watch it all unfold.  His perfect plan in perfect timing. 

What is in the secret will be made public.  So here I go, to dream in the secret until....