I have dreams and desires deep in my heart. There are ways that I know God gives me, tiny ideas and ways to walk in them. But I seem not to believe in myself. And I don't believe that God will do anything with these things. The fear takes over. Whatever I do, I want to do it well. And because I don't believe that I will actually do it well and follow through I am too afraid to even begin.
I promote others who really touch my heart with their message or products that I really love. But it is almost like I don't believe in myself to promote myself, in a way. Because I am afraid of people watching me fail, and even get joy from it.
I feel like I am in the wrestle of Moses, when God told him that He was going to use him. But Moses had so many excuses to why it didn't work. My struggle is not outwardly voicing these things, but an inward struggle with fear of failure. I believe this season of my life God is breaking me of insecurity. That I am who He made me to be and even if He is the only one to see these things that I am obedient in, it is enough. In the secret, with Him.