Have you ever felt like you can't do anything right? I have. The expectations of hard to please people in my life or my own unmet expectations on how to run my home or homeschool my guys. Feelings of constant failure are such a heavy weight to carry.
I am five chapters into handwriting the book of Leviticus and I am overwhelmed by the amount of law that God gave to Moses and the Children of Israel. There are even detailed laws and sacrifices required for unknown and unintentional sins. The only hope found is in the repeated phrase "he will be forgiven".... if all the requirements of the sacrifice are met. There is a sense of constantly looking for what you have done wrong so that a sacrifice can be made to atone for that sin.
I wonder how Moses felt as he was writing these laws and then delivering them to the Children of Israel. Did he feel a heavy weight or hopelessness knowing that they would never be able to keep all these laws? What was his delivery like? Was it gracious or was it harsh? It brings to mind how I tend to deliver difficult news to my children. I try to encourage them to try and do their best. That failure is ok. My recent phrase is "You have to learn to fail well, because we all do." But this still seems hard for me to wrap my mind around. I imagine Moses saying, "Here are the rules that you will never be able to follow, but you have to do it or God will be angry with you. But He always will be, because you will never be able to fulfill it all. Have fun with that!" I imagine Moses feeling the weight of it. The Law it weighty, God meant it to be.
God had a purpose and a plan in all our failing and in His constant forgiveness. All these laws were with a specific purpose in mind. God had a plan. All of our striving leads to nowhere. At last, God steps in with the solution. Jesus. The weight of the law is still there, but He carries it. I will no longer buckle at the pressure because I am found in Him. All laws are fulfilled in Him. My striving has to cease. And when I pick it back up again, it makes the cross seem worthless. Obedience out of striving is worthless legalism. Obedience from the heart gives life. I want to see these laws with joy in my heart. That while God required me to fulfill them, He also made a way for me to be able to live in that fulfillment, because of Christ.
Father, let me walk not in the hopelessness of laws and sacrifices, but let me walk in the freedom of your Holy Spirit where obedience from the heart gives me life abundantly in you alone.