Confessions of a Homeschool Mom

I don't know how to do it all.

I don't have enough patience.

I don't have a lot of money.

I don't have a lot of time.

I don't feel like doing bookwork.

I am so bad at math.



A few months ago when I titled this post I wrote the whole thing in my head.  But never had time to sit down at the computer to type it all out.  Why do the best and most honest words come when I can't sit down to write.  I know this is a season, but I am tired.  I don't want to be doing algebra for the next 10+ years.  And yes, I know I have done this to myself and I can change it at any time.  Except I didn't.... and I can't.... it is a calling.  Sometimes it is a calling I wish I didn't have.  Ten years of schooling seem like a long time to me.  I know some veterans are mocking me right now... "try 20?" If I am ever that mom, stab me in the eye with my red correcting pen.  I don't want to be the mom who marginalizes other moms for the experiences they have.  We grow into what we have.  No one can handle my situration like I can.  No one can handle your situation like you can.  Every person at some point experences hard times, they are hard because we have never had them before and unil we go through them we will never be able to handle them.  Next time it may be easier.  I know I am still ramping up in the intensity of my schooling years.  I am mentally trying to prepare for that.  This year was a game changer for us because we joined a co-op to help my highschooler with his subjects that I didn't have time to handle myself.  I guess we will never go back to having the pleasure of being home every day....

I  want to be honest.  I don't want to paint my life with rose colored glasses.  I have had some soul searching to do and make sure why I do what I do and why I have made the choices that I have.  I came to the point that I had to admit to myself that sometimes you know what you have to do and sometimes you really just don't like it.  But you do it anyway.  Seasons change so fast and I know that this will.  In the mean time, I am counting down to the next school break.