Friday, February 26, 2016

with my whole heart

This past summer I studied Psalm 119 with Love God Greatly for a few weeks.  It is the longest chapter in the Bible and it is entirely about the law of God.  His testimonies, precepts, statutes, commandments, rules and His Word. 

It was amazing to go through it verse by verse and write most of it out.  Coming out of legalism and into grace, I have struggled back and forth between the two.  Knowing that it is because of the relationship that I obey the laws of God, but struggling to see how it fleshes itself out.  I no longer resent walking in obedience to the Word of God and I still fall short so much.  It isn't about getting more done or being better.  It is about being.  
Abide and dwell are so deep I can barely comprehend it.

I was struck with how often the word heart appears in the chapter.  David ties emotion and obedience together so tightly.  I love it.  

Since doing this I have begun to pray that the Lord will give me a deeper love and desire for His Word and a deeper understanding of it.  

When I was thinking about the things I would like to accomplish in 2016, writing scriptures was on my mind and heart.  In a previous post I shared about that.  Right now I am in Job 11.  I still don't get to write it every day, but the desire is still so deep.  Every time I write there are things I have never noticed before and my understanding is deepening.  It really is changing my heart and my mind.

Earlier this week I had been writing and had to stop to deal with one of the boys, I was frustrated to stop but I left it out in hopes of going back to it.  Dinner had to be started and my time just ran out.  But I looked back and I noticed the beauty of the late afternoon light coming in and landing gently on my Bible.  It was so beautiful and gave me so much peace.  He has given me a deep desire. I am begging Him for more.  

This has become my prayer as I dig deeper into Him.

"Father, I pray that as I open Your Word, You would speak to me.
Give me a clear mind to read and understand.  Open the eyes of my heart to hear You nudge me in the direction You want to lead me today.  Give me revelation and understanding of new deeper concepts hidden in Your words.  
Holy Spirit, convict me of the things I need to change in my heart and comfort me with Your words of love written to me.
I desire to go deeper and to know You more.  I desire to love You more and to love Your Word more. 
Do a new work in me today, change me by Your words."