Saturday, October 1, 2016

Day 1 What are you a geek about?

I really want to ask Mike, but he would say that is cheating. I guess I would say that I am a geek about my studying. I am currently studying four books/Bible studies. I don't really do much else besides facebook. 

1. In my goal to write through the Bible in 5 years (which I am failing horribly at) I am in the book of Exodus chapter 9. I paused while I began a couple different studies with different groups. I left off in the plagues of Egypt. Honestly, I was feeling a little discouraged. We are very much in a "waiting for the promised land" time in our lives where we left behind a dream out of obedience to the Lord and are struggling to see where He is leading us, but we keep on trusting because we have nothing else. So, constantly seeing the parallels of things getting harder when you are walking obedience, I needed a break in that. Honestly, some days, that is hard to face. 

2. Uninvited. A little over a month ago I saw this book and since I follow Lysa TerKeurst on social media, I had been seeing quotes from the book. For about a year I have been sending and realizing a stronghold of rejection has been on me. From myself and a perceived rejection from others. I had a medical issue come up and I began asking the Lord to heal me. After months of it I began to get extremely concerned and starting looking up natural healing and spiritual healing in the area of my suffering. I deeply believe that our whole body, soul, mind and spirit are a part of our health and wellness. So as I was researching I found that self rejection and fear were a foundation in this condition. The timing of this book was perfect. I am in chapter 12 now and it is changing my thought patterns and helping me to see the lines I tell myself because of the lies I have been 
told. It also relates to recognizing the gifting and calling God has placed on us individually and not letting fear stop our obedience to God. That is just a summery. 

3. Entrusted, on 2 Timothy. This is a Bible study that is brand new by Beth Moore. My goal in this was to get to know people in the church we are attending, I knew nothing about the study. Also, it is a morning study so we would not be doing our school work, that is another strange thing that I decided to do. This study is all about God entrusting to us the ministry of the gospel through the gifting a that He has given each one of us. When I realized this I was blown away. As I mentioned before, leaving where we were before and having all our dreams at our fingertips, then God asking us to let go and move on has caused a time of questioning and doubt. Thoughts of the possibilities of our ministries being done and not of use to anyone again. I have been in a kind of mourning over it all. This study also hits of the fear of man in fulfilling what God has called me to do. Several months ago I attended a Beth Moore conference in Miami and that is what God impressed on me. That o have a fear of men in ministry. Not of my husband, but other men. Of being told no and that my leading is wrong and silly. It is amazing to watch God work both of these things in me through two different places at the same time. God has a plan for my exact gifting, and no man or woman will be able to stop it, as long as I walk in obedience to Him. It is funny that I felt I needed a break in Exodus, but God brought me here anyway. 

4. Triggers by Amber Lia and Wendy Speak. Exchanging parents angry relations for gentle biblical responses. 
This should be a whole new blog post because of all that it means in my life as a mom to 7 boys, so I will summarize here. I have struggled with anger, as I'm sure most other moms have too. This study is deep and to the heart but also very practical and requires a change of behavior toward my children. It has been slow going for about the last 6 years. But God and His grace are huge and He daily perfects me. I promise I will share more because I can't keep it in. 

Well, so there I went all geek about these things. I am a deep thinker about just about everything and so I like to be challenged. This is when I feel the most happy. When I have to fight for something. Even if it is with myself.