Sunday, November 15, 2015

In knowing

In many big decisions there are times you just know. Searching for all the answers for months, even years. 

When you feel like something is storing deep within you and you know change will come. 

In knowing direction in missions, in finding my husband, in having my children and in knowing when we have had who God has for us, in ministries and when to leave or to stay. These are the times I have known. No true explanation, just a knowledge and a peace. 

To know intimately I think of different relationships.

 Mother to child. I know which child coughs or sighs from three rooms away. I just know their voice. They may not know me so easily. 
This is where the relationship with my Father begins. 

Husband to wife. In the beginning the knowing is slow. With more and more experience the knowing deepens. Just a sound or just pressure and a slight movement communicates desire, displeasure, joy. Knowing deeply. And the knowledge that it will continue to deepen. Such a holy heavy weight. My soul hurts with it. It is unexplainable. Knowing. 

This is where my relationship with my Lover grows deep. Feeling His nudge with my spirit. Unexplainable. Of course there have been years and years of my relationship being of a Father and a child. It causes me to trust deeply. 

The relationship of my Lover teaches me to know His movements and His touch. When He is filled with desire for me to come deeper or when He has displeasure, feeling the pain of that. Because I love Him I know Him... I learn to know Him and I trust myself that I am learning to know Him and His every movement.

I want to be where He is. 

I want to rest there in His arms... Knowing.